busy finding balॐnce

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pineapple purple skies.

Miguel probably has the sexiest singing voice in the universe. This song, "Pineapple Skies" has been playing on repeat all weekend (and will likely be this summer's song for me) because 1) it makes me happy; and (2) in keeping with my new found love for personal mantras, "promise everything's gonna be alright", indeed (listen to the song and you'll get it).

I had the pleasure of catching up with my BFF-extraordinaire over the weekend. As always, we had a pretty solid discussion - interspersed with numerous giggle fits - about life, law, and love. When it comes to life, we're both pretty optimistic and universe-centred. We both deeply believe that what we put out in the universe comes back to us in pretty fascinating ways - our respective routes to law school demonstrate this. When it comes to law, we are both extremely passionate about criminal law and the unnerving reality of how we will want to help our clients in more ways than we likely can. She's kind assumed the role as my personal criminal law guru (because she's just so full of wisdom) and she's also my go-to person whenever the law leaves me deflated. Actually, she's pretty much my go-to person for everything. She's always level-headed, we basically always see eye-to-eye (except when I'm being stubborn), and she just "gets" me. When it comes to love, we have both had our share of ghosts of relationships past and sometimes (all the time) we need a not so gentle reminder that we're (I'm) being stupid and we (I) need to stop being stupid. 

She says that I am always too hard on myself. She thinks that I am too kind to people who are undeserving and not kind enough to myself. I tried to explain to her that my acts of kindness were twofold: (1) I genuinely want to help; and (2) I straight-up don't want bad karmic energy around me. I would really rather not have something I do that's shitty or petty or mean, come back and hit me in the face later on in life. But, her rebuttal was stronger than my reasoning because I need to learn how to stay in my own lane and recognize that I can't help people who don't want to be helped. Also, she reminded me that I need not worry about bad karma because I didn't do anything wrong. So, I conceded and promised her that I would start being kinder to myself because if I don't set the standard of how to treat myself, then others are going to assume a standard. And I don't want that happening - not again. Never again. 

In being kinder to myself, I've decided to be more assertive in going after things that I want. I don't like being spoon-fed (as you can read about that here) and I want to work for all that I get because I'll appreciate it so much more that way. With the advent of this blog launching a couple of weeks ago as a tool for me to creatively write about my thoughts on various issues, I finally started to see myself more and more as a "writer". I've always been reticent about calling myself a "writer" because I straight up don't think I'm that creative and writers are creative. Creativity lacking aside, I've somehow positioned myself to be in the midst of new and exciting opportunities that I really can't even believe are happening. If I've ever had a "trust the timing of your life" moment, this would be it. As much as things had fallen out of balance with me a few weeks ago, it's almost as if my chakras are starting to align again and I'm regaining my footing. It's exciting. It's promising. And it's making me really, really happy - so much so, that I'm smiling to ear to ear as I type and listen to this super happy song!! ALSO, I was smiling the entire uber ride back to the office from lunch, the walk up to my desk, and at my desk and was pretty much smiling the rest of the day. I'm just so freaking happy that I truly cannot believe my life - like, you know how people say "be the reason to make someone smile" or whatever tf the saying is?? Well today, I was my own reason to smile and I'm so freaking proud of me!!!!!

But for real, coming back down from cloud 9 for a hot sec, trust the timing of your life because things happen when they're supposed to happen. And the universe really does have a pretty magnificent way of working it's magic, because the moment I let shit go and left things alone that were not meant for me, I almost immediately created the space for better things. And these better things that have come - and are continuing to come - are happening as a direct result of me being kinder to me. And that's p dope.

So yeah, Miguel, you're so right - everything really is gonna be alright.