THAT BITCH.

Aggressive lady friendships like the one I share with MB and the other inspiring, strong, and badass people in my life function as my mirrors. When I look at them, I see the qualities that I want to see in me. In fact, I see the qualities that are already in me, but sometimes, mirrors get dusty. Now that the dust is settling, I see that some of the dust has landed on my mirror. I guess it sat there for a while; until yesterday, when I decided to wipe it clean. MB made me realize that I have accomplished a lot and have much more to accomplish and plan for that isn’t at all tied to a singular person. She reminded me of who I am, which may have gotten lost in the shuffle of this ending a little bit. She prompted me to re-establish my trust in the universe and helped me come to the realization (on my own, of course) that the universe is removing people, places, and relationships from my life in order to create the space for something better. And I firmly believe that. Because personal growth and development are non-stop.

People show you who they really are based on their actions. In deciding who to keep in my life, I consider whether that person or group of people serve my own becoming. Do they bring me peace? Do they add value to my life? Can I see them in my future? Do they want to be in my future? That consideration is based on how they treat me—through their actions, not their words. I keep needing to re-learn this lesson that if someone really wants to keep you in their life, they’ll find a way to do so. They’ll show me, not tell me. The people I keep close to me consistently show me that they want to be a part of my journey—a part of my life—by being “all in”. They remain beside me, not only during the giggles and “successes” (whatever tf that may mean), but also during the tears, trauma, and difficulties. I firmly believe that when you have someone in your life who wants to be there throughout all of these things and doesn’t instinctually want to bail the moment shit gets real, you keep that person. They don’t give up on you, even when you are close to giving up on yourself. In my experience, these types of people are good for your growth. They inspire you. They’re your mirrors. They show you who you are and who you can be. These people deserve to be in your life. And not everyone does.

Last week, I finished law school. Full stop. That is an incredible accomplishment—one that I deserve to enjoy to its fullest extent because law school is hard. Getting into law school is hard. Surviving law school is hard. It’s demanding, it’s grueling, it’s challenging, it’s stressful, it’s arduous, it’s tiring; at the same, it is so satisfying, so fulfilling, so enriching, and so rewarding. And not only did I survive law school, I thrived.

Unsurprisingly, my law school experience was far from the norm. I didn’t just take the classes that were expected of me because they were on the bar. I didn’t just do what was expected of me because I often always have different expectations for myself than what others may have. I didn’t just “fall in line” and do whatever everyone else was doing. No. Nothing I ever do in life is “usual” or “predictable” and law school was no exception. I am a passionate person. Everything I do and everything I pursue is done with passion and nothing else. I am decisive; I set goals, and I am intentional; I work towards these goals fueled with nothing but passion, knowing that things are going to work out the way they are meant to. I trust myself and I know myself. I don’t say no to opportunity or to new experiences because I am constantly envisioning and manifesting how I can set other goals—bigger goals for myself, that I could never have even known were possible.

The status quo is boring. I am not boring. I am constantly looking for new avenues and new opportunities to further my current interests and expand upon them in ways that all connect to one another in some way or other. That’s how I approached law school. I knew that I was going to get a job; that never really worried me. I had incredible support from my professors who challenged me to go above and beyond any preconceived expectations the profession may have for me. Their support, coupled with my strong-willed and passionate personality, pushed the boundaries of what I knew was possible and led me to an incredible amount of unusual opportunities that not many people get in law school. And it was that nexus of the potential they saw in me and my own knowledge of who I was and what I knew I brought to the table, that allows me to confidently say that these were, by far, the most valuable three years of my life. Three years of nothing but passionate hard work and self-investment and confirmation that who I am is more than enough (sometimes maybe too much) to accomplish something magnificent with immense meaning and tremendous purpose.

Throughout all of law school, I was determined to look for places to assert anthropology in the law. In 1L, I joined the Canadian Association of Refugee Lawyers (CARL)—uOttawa Chapter with one of my most treasured friends. Together, we co-chaired CARL’s annual “Refugee Night”, which was an incredible experience because it exposed us to a world that both of us felt comfortable in, which is something that can be sometimes rare in law school. I also regularly began doing adjournments at the Ottawa Courthouse for my criminal defence lawyer-mentor, who was dope. I also wrote something on my final property law exam that attracted the attention and mentorship of my professor who was intrigued and Idk, impressed? with one of my essay questions that combined my background in anthropology with legal principles. And towards the end of 1L, I received an academic journal in the mail where an article I had written back in my graduate studies was published. I tweeted about it because it was an incredible reminder of how I got to where I was in the first place. That tweet attracted the attention of another incredible professor—who I never had any classes with—causing her to slide into my DMs to request a call. She told me that she was doing some mystery shopper research in the context of telecom companies and told me that my background in anthropology makes me “perfect” for the type of qualitative research she was doing. So, after a brief 10 minute phone call and having not met her, she offered me an RA position. That summer, we conducted the mystery-shopper research and she also forwarded my CV to another professor, who was conducting research on organ donation in the context of medical assistance in dying (MAiD). Based on both my professional and academic history, that professor (now Vice-Dean) also concluded that I’d be “perfect” for her RA position. Throughout the summer of 1L, I worked at an organization where I was exposed to health, tech, and privacy law because of my professional experience prior to law school—it was also the “perfect” fit for me then too.

In 2L, I was encouraged to audition for the Harold G. Fox Intellectual Property Moot by my 1L property law professor/mentor, the team that which he coached. I had a surprising interest in IP and tech law that really came out of nowhere and I was selected to be the team captain. In that role, I was able to develop my leadership, writing, oral, and interpersonal skills in a way that surprised even me. From that experience, I made two of the most meaningful friendships that I will ever have in my life. I consider myself so lucky and so blessed to have been introduced to these wonderful men who will hopefully, one day, maybe, be my appellate partners for real, for real. I led the team to the semi-finals and finals, and saw one of my dearest treasures win best oralist in both the non-graduating year category and overall category. That was an indescribable experience and one where I learned so much about myself, the law, and types of people I want to work with in my professional and personal life. Also that year, I presented our summer mystery-shopper research before the CRTC hearing on abusive and misleading sales practices. That experience was wild. It gained so much media attention that people who I hadn’t spoken to in years were sending me the CBC article telling me how proud of me they were. Several months after that hearing, the CRTC released a manual indicating a policy change that was inspired by the findings of our research. That moment made me feel at ease with the law because in law school we learn how difficult it is is to create change; but, the work I did as a law student was able to effect some pretty meaningful change in a world of law that I never knew I was interested in. I was also invited to “model” in the #LawNeedsFeminismBecause campaign because myself and a group of badass bitches inherited the uO Feminist Collective—a rogue feministive club—from another fellow badass woman in law.

At the end of 2L, I was also offered a position at the Samuelson-Glushko Canadian Internet Policy and Public Interest Clinic (CIPPIC) and not so subtly suggested that if they hire me, then they should also hire my dear friend because he’s probably the most brilliant legal mind I have ever met. And thank God they did because my summer and 3L experience would have been drastically different if they didn’t listen to me!

Over the summer, I also gained another RA position in the field of international investment law, lol, what? Again, this happened at the recommendation of my consumer rights’ superstar mentor who told this professor—who, co-incidentally did teach me contracts and business organizations—to hire me. But, the bulk of my summer work was at CIPPIC. There, we worked on advancing consumer rights research and access to justice in the digital age and a reverse class action copyright case. And we drank a lot of coffee. That work carried us into 3L, where we were reunited with our third appellate partner. Together, the three of us submitted our first motion in the Federal Court. We went from drafting moot facta on copyright and industrial designs to drafting federal court facta on copyright and class actions in less than 6 months. Our work in the Voltage case attracted the attention of Dr. Hayleigh Bosher, an editor of IPKat, a widely read international intellectual property law blog where brilliant and leading legal academic scholars from across the world contribute their expertise and insight into all things IP related. She slid into my Twitter DMs and asked if I would consider writing a blog post about the case. I told her that I'd only write it if my best friend could write it with me. So we did. As 3Ls. Law students. We published in this crazy digital space that has an international, not just domestic, audience. You can find that blog post here or here. Shortly after that, the three of us drafted a memorandum of argument for an application for leave to intervene in the Supreme Court of Canada case of Uber v. Heller. Then, we drafted that factum. That went to the Supreme Court of Canada. We were 3Ls. Take that in.

We also comprised uOttawa’s team for the Oxford International Intellectual Property Moot. So, after drafting federal court and SCC facta, we reverted back to drafting our moot facta—and honestly, I think that caused the three of us more grief than the real deal. While we never got to to go to Oxford to present our oral submissions due to the COVID crisis, the experience of working together, as a team: building up our arguments, building up our (my) confidence, developing our arguments, developing ourselves, strengthening our arguments and strengthening ourselves, allowed our friendship to grow in unexpected ways because of how much we all value, respect, inspire, and love each other.

While I was doing all of this IP and tech law in 3L, I was simultaneously balancing my moot obligations with my CARL obligations, as after two years of co-chairing Refugee Night, my treasured lil’ babe and I became Co-Chairs of the organization. Not only did we oversee the planning and execution of Refugee Night, bake sales, committee meetings, but we also oversaw the planning and execution of LobbyCon, an entirely student led advocacy event where law students across Canada came to lobby MP’s about substantive issues related to immigration and refugee law. That was a Herculean task and I’m so grateful to have had such a reliable, competent, and stable partner in my lil babe for taking leadership in times where I needed to focus my attention on my other obligations. Also in 3L (man, this was a short year, but I didn’t realize how much I did!), I became the RA to an incredibly inspiring professor to conduct research of things that excite me and remind me of the anthropologist I am. I also conducted research in the context of AI tech and criminal law for this incredibly inspiring and prominent criminal defence lawyer in Toronto who I think is pure #goals. I gained the opportunity to work with her through my work with CIPPIC and am now lucky to be able to call her one of my many mentors. Finally, throughout all of law school, I joined the Women’s Legal Mentorship Program (WLMP) to become a “mentor” to the cutest baby lawyer, ever, and am so grateful to that organization for bringing that sweetheart into my life. I also became a mentor to a lot of other law students who somehow heard about me and the work I’ve done through their professors.

I came to law school knowing that I wanted to help people, because that has really always been my purpose. That said, I knew I had a major interest in pursuing public law and the many forms of it. However, I also came to law school with an open mind. Because of that, I was gifted the opportunity to explore, develop, and hone other interests related to IP and tech law. I struggled with which direction I wanted to pursue after law school because I genuinely loved both. One was my true practical calling and one was my true academic interest. Therefore, I opted to just do both. Because I can. Because if I really, really want something, I’ll find a way to do it. To get it. To work for it. I’m driven by passion.

Clearly, I love to write—this blog is testament to that. So, I naturally took classes that required me to write and unsurprisingly, these were the classes I had wanted to take because they covered things that I was genuinely interested in. So, over the course of three years, I got to write about some pretty compelling and interesting things. For example, I wrote a paper on media trials that result in wrongful convictions and the subversion of the presumption of innocence called: “‘Fuck Apologies’: The Erasure of the Presumption of Innocence in the Court of Public Opinion”. I also wrote a paper that allowed my interests in trademark law, boujee fashion designers, and random rap lyrics to coalesce called: “‘These Expensive, These are Red-Bottoms, These are Bloody Shoes’: A Distinctive Analysis of the Modernization of Canada’s Trade-marks Act”. I also wrote a paper that allowed my interests in social media, anthropology, race, intersectionality, and the development of law and policy to intersect called: “‘#StayWoke—Storytelling through Twitter’: An Analysis of How Twitter is Used by Racialized and Vulnerable Members of the University Community”. I wrote another paper that forced me to revisit the horror of dating apps (after I had made the new year’s resolution to stay away from them), by analyzing how their terms and services agreements allowed for or denied consumers access to justice in the context of online abuses called: “‘Tap That’: Consumer Rights in Online Dating Apps”. I wrote another paper that compelled me to deep dive into my anthropology past and connect it to my current reality of criminal law practice called: “‘Orderly Disorder: The Social Role of the Criminal Justice System”. Finally, the last paper I wrote really solidified my feet in two worlds, where I drew upon the legal research we conducted for the Oxford moot that sought to balance copyright with freedom of expression, thereby a paper broadly balancing IP and tech law with public law, called: “‘In the Public Interest’: Constitutionalizing Copyright”.

I also researched drafted written submissions about copyright issues related to originality, non-human authorship, and copyright protection in industrial designs. I researched and drafted *winning written arguments opposing a certification motion in Canada’s first reverse class proceedings filed in the Federal Court. I researched and drafted arguments on substantive criminal and immigration related issues about the applicability of Charter values in inadmissibility hearings. I research and drafted arguments about contractual consumer rights’ issues related to the ubiquity of boilerplate, access to justice, and the evolution of the doctrine of unconscionability in arbitration agreements. Finally, I researched and drafted written submissions on compulsory licensing regimes in patent law, trademark cancellations, and public interest and quotation defences to copyright infringement.

For me, writing = learning = growing. So, when I’m interested in something, I become passionate about it. I commit myself to it. I commit myself to learning more about it and have this unstoppable drive to dive deeper into it: to grow with it. That goes for my academic, professional, and personal pursuits. I find value and meaning in all things I do—no matter how big or small—because I move, act, behave, and grow with intention; with purpose. Having accomplished so much in such little time, I’m inspired and excited to see where my passions and interests take me. I have an idea of where I want to go and tbh, I have an idea of where I will likely end up. But that’s for another day. For now, I know that my future is super fucking bright. I have done—and will continue to do—some incredible things and have attracted all of these opportunities to me by being open to uncertainty and by remaining true to who I am. Even when “I’m crying crazy”, my DNA test shows me (and my mirrors show me) that “I am. 100% THAT BITCH”.

As my law school journey comes to an end and I prepare to begin a new chapter of my life where I will be articling at a progressive criminal defence firm, I am reflecting heavily upon who I want to start this chapter with and the types of people I want to start this chapter with. Not everyone deserves a page in this new chapter, nor should they.

I’m off to do a whole lotta great and exciting things along my journey and if people are telling me—by showing me—that they don’t want to come along, then that’s on them. That’s their loss, not mine. If they actively choose not to be a part of my present because they are overly concerned with my past, then I am actively choosing not to bring them into my future. I’ve gained some perspective now that the dust is settling and my mirrors are clearing up. For the first time in a while, I’m seeing things clearly. I’m seeing all that I am and all that I accomplished and all that I’ve grown. I’m seeing all that I could be and all that I will accomplish and all the more that I have to grow in terms of how I handle my love life. I’m trusting what is and what isn’t. And what is, is this: I’m dope and a lot of people may say they want to be a part of my life, but unless they show me that they deserve to be there through actions; hard pass. And what isn’t, is this: I’m not going to allow myself to lose sight of what and who I am just because someone else couldn’t see it or refused to see it. And while I'm extremely grateful for the experience because it allowed me to grow and feel things I didn't think were possible, I now know that they are possible. I now know what I really want in a partner. And I trust that the universe is forcing me into a position of uncertainty so that I can readily accept all of the new opportunities, people, and situations that will encourage more growth, more love, and more self-discovery.

That said, I now know that I need to let go of any sort of expectations I may have had to create the space for better opportunities, better relationships, and better places that I never could have dreamed of. And now that I know what I want, I’m going to go and get it. Because like my girl Lizzo, I am 100% that bitch who deserves someone who is “all in” for me the way I am “all in” for them.

Time to stop chasing people and ideas of what could have been—if it's meant to be, then it'll be. Either way, I know that for the first time in a while, I'm feelin' good as hell. While I’m sure this feeling will come and go, I know that shit is normal and I’m not going to be too hard on myself about that because I trust that my comeback will be on one hunnid’. And, even if he doesn't know what he lost, I do. And straight up, that's all I'm concerned about.

He coulda had a bad bitch but *committal 😉.

puzzles & epiphanies.

*I wrote this in November 2016.

When I was younger, my parents would sit with me and watch me put together my Lion King puzzle. At first, they would watch me try and unsuccessfully piece together the first two pieces I could grab, put aside one of the pieces and try again, and again, and again. After a generous amount of unsuccessful attempts, my parents made me put all the pieces back in the box, shake it, and then dump it all out on to our kitchen table. They would then help me flip over each puzzle piece so that they would all be upward facing and explain, “that way you can see everything you’re working with”. They would give me tips on where to start - corner pieces, end pieces, etc. and let me slowly piece together my Lion King puzzle by myself. My parents were/are wonderful teachers. Little do they know the simple guidance they provided back then, would eventually stick with me in how I approach all of the weird and nebulous puzzles I’ve encountered in life and will eventually encounter as I continue to grow.

A few weeks ago, I made some pretty serious decisions about which puzzle I wanted to attack next. All my life, everything I did academically and professionally, was geared towards completing the puzzle of medicine. I wanted to be a paediatrician. For so many years, I struggled to piece together my academic interests with my professional goals, forcing them to fit together in a way that would just not coalesce. It just didn’t fit. And I couldn’t understand why. Until this year.

The beginning of 2016 marked a new year for me to turn shit around and leave the disaster of 2015 behind. I took this year as a very serious opportunity to put all of my academic interests, professional goals, potential career paths, strengths, weaknesses, and ideas back into a box, shake it all up, and dump it all back onto my desk. Through the painful process of writing my Master’s thesis, I somehow positioned myself in a unique set of circumstances that flipped each of these pieces right-side up and I was finally able to clearly see everything that I was working with. Writing that monstrous 200+ paged thesis made my passions crystal clear; the reason these pieces never fit was because they were in the wrong box. I’m not supposed to be a doctor - that’s not at all what I’m passionate about; rather, I’m meant to be a lawyer and meant to go beyond receiving a JD degree -  I’m meant to be a legal academic.

I have spent the better part of my life working at a medical office in the Jane and Finch area. I regularly help and care for people who experience the social system from a position of struggle. My MA research was conceptualized from  and developed through my experience at the clinic. Refugee health and health policy (the premise of my graduate work) proved to be two things that I am extremely passionate about and my thesis demonstrated that if I genuinely want to continue to help refugees and immigrants, then I need a career where I can make the kind of difference that doesn’t involve treating colds and fevers. I want to help these marginalized populations navigate their way through the social system from a position of strength and studying the law can help ease their transitions to this country. Moreover, I want to be able to help with the dissolution of legal boundaries and help disseminate legal knowledge to those that need it most. It’s clear that I love to write - furthering my time in academia affords me the chance to continue doing what I love and well, isn’t that the whole point of this puzzle?

My puzzle is slowly coming together - the edges have formed, the pieces are finally starting to fit together, and the cornerstones remain in tact. I guess I just have to continue working on piecing together other aspects of it, but it’s good to know it’s all starting to make sense. 

Also, my parents are indescribably wise and yet, they have no idea. If/when I ever have kids, I hope they’ll learn to love puzzles as much as I do.